I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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