South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
