worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
