yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
