Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
