So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
