stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
