The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I touched a dick in church today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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