i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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