Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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