A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
