he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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