i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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