he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize