I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
