he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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