The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
