she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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