so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
