Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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