I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
