Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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