I CAN MOONWALK!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we should paint friendship bongs
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