I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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