...so i touched it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
