First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
