It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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