im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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