Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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