he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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