Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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