my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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