Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think my fart just growled at me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize