Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
