I'm going to jail i love you
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
