Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
