I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
