Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
