Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We need to get me chipped asap
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
