Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
