Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
