Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
