i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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