She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were trust falling into bushes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
