I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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