You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
