For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
