i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
