Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
