Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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