A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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