its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
