I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
