I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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