i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
