I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
