next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
