I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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