So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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