he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
