He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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